Too much of a good thing

One resurfacing memory from my teen years was when some friends and I were offered three bucks each to eat. That’s right, being paid to eat — a teenage boy’s dream.

The Krystal Company, the Chattanooga-based producers of square hamburgers with the lovely combination of mustard, pickles and onions, was testing new products. My friends and I were given two large hamburgers (what became the short-lived Krystal King), two pieces of lemon pie and two chocolate shakes.

We were instructed to take a a minimum of two bites from each product and record our opinions. I don’t recall any “products” being left on the table.

Consuming two big burgers, two slices of pie and two shakes pales in comparison, however, to the results out of the Krystal Square Off World Hamburger Eating Championship held along the Ross Landing riverfront in Chattanooga yesterday.

Takeru Kobayashi (of Nathan’s hot dog eating fame) consumed 93 square burgers (not soaked according to new rules) in just eight minutes — defeating reigning Krystal champion Joey Chestnut.

Such news makes me feel like my friends and I were minor leaguers back in the ’70s. But now we are at the age and stage where comparing cholesterol levels is considered a better competition.

1 Comment

  1. I think the SBC was in Miami the summer of67 when I finished the 8th grade.
    The family went down, I think Billy Graham was there that year and some TV star that kinda backslid later on.
    Momma didn't drive but my Dad tried to make it back in two days, to my Nanny and Papa's house off the Kingston Hwy just about 5 miles before you got to Rome.
    We loaded up on Krystal's in Marietta, Ga on old 411 about 8 pm of the 2nd night of stressful family riding, return from the Big Convention.
    I almost made it, had to pull over about the end of the Bartow County line.
    Family was kind but when I got back in the car, lot of poetry at my expense for the next 12 miles or so to Nanny and Papa's.
    I keep an eye on the marquee in Ft. Payne, Alabama; sometimes they have a customer appreciation day and you can get 3 for a dollar.
    That's when I go two bucks worth and one more time remember the Miami SBC of 67 and put my bowels at the mercy of the Krystal gods.

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