1. As a point of order, ask if Louisville, Ky., was freely chosen by a planning committee — at Al Mohler’s urging — or predetermined by God before the formation of earth to be the 2009 meeting site.
2. Hang around the Southwestern Seminary booth until you can identify a true Baptist all by yourself.
3. Repeatedly and excitedly ask LifeWay bookstore workers when and where the book signing by Wade Burleson will be held.
4. Make a motion to boycott AT&T for having a logo similar to CBF.
5. Imagine Will Campbell is sitting beside you — and what he might say.